A Horrible Machine

Check out my essay on the classic scout song “Dunderbeck” in the latest issue (no. 6) of the always gnaw-worthy Meatpaper, the impeccably designed journal of carnivorous culture. The piece is not available online, but these are the lyrics of the song, an old—though grisly—favorite

Once there was a jolly man, his name was Dunderbeck.
He was very fond of sausage meat, and sauerkraut and spec.
He owned a great big butcher store, the finest ever seen,
and he took out a patent on a sausage meat machine.

Oh Dunderbeck, Oh Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
Ever to have invented such a wonderful machine?
For kitten cats and water-rats will never more be seen,
They’ll all be turned to sausage meat in Dunderbeck’s machine.

One day there was a little boy came walking in the store,
to buy a pound of sausage meat and eggs a half a score.
And while he was awaiting he whistled up a tune,
and the sausages they all got up and danced around the room. [Chorus]

One night there was a problem, the machine it would not go.
So Dunderbeck he climbed inside, the reason for to know.
His wife she had a nightmare, and she came down in her sleep.
She gave the crank a terrible yank, and Dunderbeck was meat. [Chorus]

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